28Feb
It is funny how we remember certain details from our past. When I think about being a child and what memories I have there are not that many that stand out. It is also weird that sometimes emotion is brought up for weird reasons and you can’t shake the feeling. Today when I woke up I was laying in bed and I got this really weird feeling and it made me think of being little. I had this memory of being about five and watching Dr.Quinn medicine woman at home with my mom. I remember it was on channel five. This was a sad time for me and my mom because my grandma had just passed away. (R.I.P Nana). I missed a lot of school and I would just stay home an watch this show with my mommy. It made everything all better. We also watched mad about you. I can’t explain the feelings that come up when I think about this time in my life. Part of me wishes I could go back because I miss it. Part of me is happy where I am now. I guess these memories just remind me that I’m all grown up now and I can’t go back and I just have to accept the ways things are now. It makes me realize I have my own responsibilities and I’m going to have a family of my own someday. It kinda scares me but I also kinda want to have a daughter that will look back and have good memories of me and her hanging out.
27Feb
I’m a girly girl and I’m not really into cars. I don’t really notice cars unless they are really unique. Recently when I was at work I noticed three different cars within an hour. First when I was arriving to work I spotted an eclipse. I like those cars because they look good and they go fast. I want one someday. The next car that caught my attention was an old Chevy Monte Carlo in hot pink. The lady who drives it is a grandma and she is a real og. Her car fit her personality so well. The last car I saw was my dream car! It was a range rover sport in black with custom black rims. This car was sexy!! I plan on having one of my own someday. So even tho I’m not a car person I do appreciate cars and I can’t wait to drive my range rover around Vegas. Beep beep! Outta my way.
26Feb
It is now the weekend which is awesome. I love my long weekends. They always go by so fast though. This weekend I have homework and I have some important things to do. I have midterms coming up in a couple weeks so I wanna start to study soon. I am really happy with my grades so far. Yesterday was the most beautiful day. I can’t wait until it is summer.
“The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.” — G. K. Chesterton
25Feb
“Love never fails but it gets a D- sometimes”
Haha I just liked that quote. One of my friends posted it on myspace.
So I feel much better today. I slept really good last night. This morning I woke up and had orange juice and talked to my mom because she was awake talking on the phone. I was early to work and when I was getting the classroom ready I put on the radio. I heard you spin my head right round and gin and juice lol. When the kids got there a couple of the girls started singing living on a prayer lol which was really funny! Then we went outside and it was super windy. Wind usually makes me lonely but today it had a different kind of feel. I saw all the kids getting dropped off and I noticed a grandma dropping off her grandson. I have seen them before but today they were laughing and she just looked like that perfect grandma. It brought up all this emotion in me and I’m still not sure exactly what I was feeling. I’m not sure if I was just longing to have a grandma, like the grandma I never had or If I was wanting to be a grandma someday. I do want to have babies and then when my babies grow up, they will have babies and I want to be that perfect grandma that makes cookies and is fun. I don’t know, I guess I want both. Sometimes I wish things were different and that I would have gotten to have grandparents and a big family to love me but it’s whatever. I”m happy with who I am today and that is all that matters. I just have to make sure that my babies get to have everything I never had.
24Feb
Marriage.Babies.Love.The works.
“There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.”- george sand
“Love is something eternal; the aspect may change, but not the essense.” - vincent van gogh
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” Lao Tzu
24Feb
Reasons why today was awesome…
- I woke up feeling a little better.
- I got a vanilla iced coffee for breakfast.
- At work I got to play in the sand with the kids and have fun.
- The weather is SO PERFECT!!!!!!!!! I couldn’t even tell you how amazing.
- I danced around and exercised to music with the kids….I have the best job.
- My class was at an elementary school right next door to the preschool.
- I got to observe kindergartners.
- I’m watching overboard….GREAT movie.
- I get to hang out with my best friend again later!
- I have the best life….I’m so lucky.
I appreciate my life so much. I was talking to the teacher I work with about the secret today. We both agreed that we are where we are in life because of our own thoughts and actions. I believe I have spent my whole life trying to get where I am today. I feel very accomplished. I have a long list of things that I still wanna do, like be a mother, a wife, have my own classroom, own a range rover and own my own house. I think I can do anything because I control what happens in my life.
23Feb
I had some yummy food for lunch. Every time I don’t feel good I like to eat spicy or Mexican food. Ever since I was little I have wanted taco bell when I didn’t feel good. Today I had roberto’s for lunch and it made me feel better. I took my test and I hope I did well. Now I only have one more class then I get to go home! I kinda want soup for dinner but I also kinda want something spicy too. I guess we will see.
23Feb
I have a cold.EW.GROSS.YUCK.
I don’t like being sick because I have NO energy. I felt crappy last night and then I had a really hard time sleeping. I woke up early to call into work and text my friends. Then I went back to sleep, which actually went better. I woke up and felt a little more rested. I took a hot shower and it made my nose feel better. I have taken medicine but I know I need to take more. I went to class feeling really crappy but I got a mood lift when I got my test back. I did a really good job. My plans for the rest of the day are to study, eat Mexican food (I always do when I don’t feel good) and take a test, then go to my last class. After that I will see my best friend and we will hang out and watch a movie or something. I hope I start to feel better. I don’t like being the person with no energy. Today it is really cloudy and it was raining a little bit. I love the rain so that is a good thing about my day.
22Feb
I feel sleepy. I’m a hard working girl and I get tired a lot. I love love love to sleep and I get upset when I have a hard time sleeping. I like to sleep alone because I move around a lot and I am kind of a bed hog. During the week I wake up really early and I have long days. It is all worth it tho. I love summer because I can go to bed really late and wake up when ever I want.
22Feb
<3
When it is cloudy and windy outside it makes me want to cuddle up to someone. I love rainy weather. I love to daydream and think of sexy things. Im a little stressed out right now because I have a lot going on in my life. I have tests coming up so I need to study. I can’t believe it is going to be march already. Time goes by so fast. I’m hanging out with my best friend again today and it is awesome. She is my best friend ever. She helps me to relax.
